and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
