a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You need a sexual gate keeper
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize