she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
