I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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