I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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