so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize