i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
