Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
