..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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