I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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