Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize