Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You can't just leave with hair like that
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
