how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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