Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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