And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
