she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
