Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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