He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
tell me about the fingering
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