dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
