Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
