I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
