How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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