His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
