Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
