OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
did i just pee glitter
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
