I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Randomize