i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize