And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
