Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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