she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
