have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
