i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
