Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Soap is not a condiment
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
