Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
