My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
