thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
