Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
