Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Fuck appropriateness.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Randomize
