Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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