if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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