it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
