Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I forgot how hot balto sounded
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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