It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
