Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
