the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i've created a new STD.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
