I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
