if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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