but the lizard people decide everything anyway
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
