Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize