We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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