you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
