Don't make out with my wife yet
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
