Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
