What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
