I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
