am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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