i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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