I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize