The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
