I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
