Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
