The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
we're so committed to being not committed
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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